I have a teeshirt I bought in high school (which was seven years ago .. oh my God ... *sense of my own mortality ... rising*) which says, "New Jersey: Only the Strong Survive." I believe this shirt is partially in reference to driving in our wonderful state. Having never lived anywhere else, here are some handy tips I've picked up while driving in the Garden State. (Although, I almost merged into a van on the Parkway going South this week, so maybe take my tips with grain of salt. Whatever, I had backseat passengers who didn't see him either, so I'm not claiming fault. )

Hardee har har!

Update! My bff Karen has posted a response to this very post! Read it! I command you.

First week of going to the gym: completed! And it hasn't been too bad.

As I previously mentioned, I joined a gym. I have gone twice now. WHERE ARE MY SIX-PACK ABS?!

I like to take pictures. This has always been the case. I carry my DSLR around a lot, and my iPhone has a pretty sweet camera. Plus, I'm the default photographer for work. Generally my work photos have been used on a pretty small scale, and my personal photos are for just that - personal use. BUT NOT TODAY!

I'm 25, but I look young. This leads to a lot of confusion and awkward clarifications.

MacGruber! They made a mooooovie! Yup, they surrrrrrrrre did.

I learned a lot about my family this Mother's Day. I learned how, when my Nanny (mom's mom) was pregnant with my mother, my great-grandma gave her whiskey sours to help with the labor pains. (This did not go over well with her [dick of] a doctor. [He was not a dick because he rightfully scolded her about this, but rather other actions too long to get into in a blog preview.]) Can you imagine that happening today? (My mom turned out fine, bee tee dubs.) I also learned how, when my mom was giving birth to me, my father SCREAMED at the doctor right in the middle of all the ahem, action, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HER?" (The doctor replied coolly, "Trying to get this baby out." ZING! And ew.) But these stories weren't HALF as good as the ones I learned about my dad when he was 17-18 years old.

Previously, on Twitter: "Babies" was everything I wanted it to be: all the adorableness without the actual poop smell.

ZOMG. Loved it.