"But Daria, that's a chick movie."

"Kevin. Brittany's a chick."

Yeah, sometimes my estrogen catches up with me, and I find myself enjoying a chick flick. In fact, there are some that I enjoy so much that I will watch them anytime they are on. I can't help myself. These movies aren't even that good. But I can't turn away, like a moth to a flame. So actually, maybe I don't enjoy these movies, but rather appreciate them on a masochistic level. Mostly, I watch these movies by myself, in my room, but now, I'm going to share with you the movies that will render me unable to turn away.

1. Confessions of a Shopaholic*

Let's get the shittiest right out there in the open. This movie is mildly terrible, and is pretty much like any other contemporary romantic comedy. Of course, it's got a woman working at a magazine in New York, trying to make it in life and love in the big city! (But, unlike all other movies featuring young women working at magazines in New York, she's just a writer! Not an editor. Same but different I suppose.) She's not at a fashion magazine, but wants to be. And, she dresses in designer duds, but she's thousands in debt. THAT'S the one aspect of the movie I respect. Because in so many of these movies, these women live in homes/apartments and dress in designer clothes they obviously cannot afford based on their occupation. But in this movie, the main character Rebecca looks the part, but is drowning in it as well. (It still makes me laugh that the release of this movie was perfectly timed with our county's current recession. Oy vey.)

But that's where the minor respect ends. Rebecca learns NOTHING from the amount of debt she finds herself in. The declined credit cards, the inability to pay rent, the fucking debt collector chasing after her, none of these are legitimate worries. Just obstacles for her to overcome that she'll figure out later. She lies to everyone she meets and knows constantly. She plagiarizes her first assignment at her new job. She says and does dumb things all the time. And yet, after writing one (hackneyed sounding) article, she becomes a STAR. I mean, what. She's just so ... damn ... unlikeable. Now, I like Isla Fisher. She was good in Wedding Crashers and she seems like she'd be a perfect fit in a romantic comedy. But I found her to be in such obnoxious denial that I wanted her to get caught, and was totally stoked when she got the rug pulled out from under her on live television.

So why do I like this movie? Well ... it's very colorful. And I like colors! The clothes are pretty! And, I like the cast of supporting characters, even if they are underused. Wendie Malick, John Goodman, Joan Cusack, John Lithgow. You know. The olds. Oh, and the stereotypically gay Wizard of Oz inspired front secretary. Lovvvvvve him. Hugh Dancy isn't attractive to me, so meh there. And the women from Alette magazine bug. Kristin Scott Thomas (wtf is she doing in this with that accent) and whoever the blonde was. I don't get her role in the movie either. Is she the main villain or not? She kinda is, but she's relatively inoffensive. She's just there, and attractive, and in Rebecca's dream job, so I guess that's enough to be a villain to poor ole Rebecca. She who must get everything she wants with minimal effort or suffer from any consequences.

So yeah. The minor characters and all the colors. Oh, and I too love to shop. So I think all the shopping montages are GREAT. Especially since I'm not in debt. (The only time I experienced such a mad rush was during college, when Express set up a tent between the student center and Au Bon Pain. We waited in line, and then were all unceremoniously let in. It was crazed, but the $20 black military blazer I got was worth it.)

*I have not read the book series, so this critique is based on just the movie.

2. Someone Like You

More plagiarism! And this movie reminds me, I hate fake magazines and fake movies and fake television shows featured within movies. They are always so goddamn terrible, it's hard to believe they actually exist. At least in most of these movies, they're always suffering, and by the end of the movie, the main female character has some big epiphany/confession she spills out on air which inevitably saves them. I mean, thank God for the lack of dignity in these women, AMIRITE!?

Anyway. This one features Ashley Judd as a television talk show producer who falls in love, gets dumped, then wallows. And, like Rebecca, writes one bullshit article under a pseudonym and gets astronomically successful. What I don't get is, Judd's character (who is obnoxiously and eye-rolling named Jane Goodall [and the joke is only made once - WHAT'S THE POINT!?]) reads an article in The New York Times about guy cows that never sex up the same lady cow twice, and so she ... obsesses over it, re-writes it, and .... she's the one that's so enlightened? What about the original author of the NYT article? I'd say they're the ones that deserve all the credit.

If this movie took place today instead of 2000, I'd imagine she'd have blogged about the NYT article, and then it wouldn't seem to much like plagiarism to me. Anyway. Girl. Build a bridge. You were "the other woman" anyway, and if the first woman was Ellen Barkin, I'd bow out gracefully. One thing I do not understand though is, why does Judd fall in love with Hugh Jackman seemingly out of nowhere? He sees her cry once, fall asleep together and when she wakes up, she's immediately skeeved out, even though they didn't even kiss. But in the end she decides her roommate, the walking STD is the man for her? Sorry. Don't get it.

BUT I'LL WATCH IT EVERY TIME. Don't know why.

3. Sweet Home Alabama

This one, I can chalk up its appeal to me for two reasons: stereotypical jokes about Southerners, and Reese Witherspoon. I always enjoy her, for whatever reason. Now, she's not one of my favorite actresses, but I do love Legally Blonde, and love the way she spews out the line: "Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce. " Such sass!

But again. Girl. In big city. This time, a fashion designer! Trying to make it! At least she's not an immediate huge success. I mean, a character does mention that a magazine gave her a bad review. I don't know. This movie's kinda all over the place and there's a ton of backstory that's slowly revealed throughout the entire course of the flick.

And oh man. I've never been to Alabama so, I don't really know. But, whoa there culture shock. Maybe I enjoy this movie from an anthropological standpoint? Because I have no interest in going to Alabama so this is as close as it I'm going to get.

Overall, it's pretty mediocre. But I even saw this one in the theaters! It started airing all the time on Oxygen and I was like, "HEY. I remember watching this once. It was alright." And now I can't stop!

4. & 5. Monster-In-Law & Enough

You knew J.Lo was coming. Now, I saw Maid In Manhattan in theaters but nope, doesn't compare. Monster-In-Law does it for me. I find the combo of Jane "GEORGIA RULE!" Fonda and Wanda Sykes to be perfect. In fact, I really like the resurgence of Jane Fonda. She's fiesty. J.Lo's relatively inoffensive in this, and the supporting cast has Will Arnett and Adam Scott! Win! The love story is boring, but hey. We all knew it was going to be. It's all about the J.Lo / J.Fo battle. This movie's alright, although the end gets tidied up waaaay too easily, considering the level of animosity between the two.

Also, this movie ends with J.Lo and Michael Vartan (this guy is so vanilla I blanked on his name for a bit) driving off after the wedding ceremony, and Jane Fonda looking all sad as though she missed saying goodbye forever. But then surprise! Sonny boy is there to hug good ole mommy. Now. Question. Do these rich ass people not have receptions? It's not like the guy was leaving for war. He was either a) going on his honeymoon and would probably call her the next day or b) was going to see her in like 20 minutes at the reception. I can get overprotective but sheesh.

And Enough. Maybe not a chick flick per se, but I can't imagine that this was marketed for dudes. Essentially, J.Lo marries Billy Connelly, they have a kid, then he beats the shit out of her and she goes on the run. Then, she kills him. In a very well thought out, arrest-free manner. Hooray for happy endings! I remember when this came out, everyone was like, "Yeah, let's watch J.Lo get beat up, herr herrr!" Those people are assholes. I like this one because it's a classic revenge story. It is also quite long but its length doesn't bother me; it makes the film feel as though it has more depth than it actually has. Because although this movie establishes their relationship starting at the very first moment they met (where Billy Connelly comes off as a knight in shining armor), his turn to Major League asshole seems out of the blue. But, once he is an asshole, he pulls it off majestically.

However, the girl playing J.Lo's young daughter Gracie is totally annoying and a terrible actress. She is by far the worst part of this movie. She has that awful drawn out way of baby-talking, and she squeaks. I'm never invested in her safety when they're on the lam; in fact, I'd rather she just disappear. Thankfully Juliette Lewis does take her out of the last half hour so, thanks Juliette! (Another girl/woman in this movie that has a weird way of speaking. Mainly it's when she's talking to J.Lo, trying to pump her up to her her husband at the end.)

Now you know my guilty chick flick pleasures. I don't even like most of them, but I can't not watch them. And I seem to have a lot more to say about the ones I dislike than the ones I kind of enjoy. How's that for screwed up?