I have a teeshirt I bought in high school (which was seven years ago .. oh my God ... *sense of my own mortality ... rising*) which says, "New Jersey: Only the Strong Survive." I believe this shirt is partially in reference to driving in our wonderful state. Having never lived anywhere else, here are some handy tips I've picked up while driving in the Garden State. (Although, I almost merged into a van on the Parkway going South this week, so maybe take my tips with grain of salt. Whatever, I had backseat passengers who didn't see him either, so I'm not claiming fault. )
Tip One: Speed Limits Are Suggestions. Unless They're Not
If you're not near a school, you don't need to go 25 mph. There are tons of areas where you can go 30, 35 mph easily (but not more than that). If you end up going 25 (or, I shudder to say, 20 or less) in some 25 mph zones, you're gonna get passed, despite the double yellow (I know, I've seen it) and cause a lot of back up. (Driving too slowly is illegal too!) Now, I'm not saying to go 60 in a 25. That's ridiculous, unsafe, and you're just asking to be pulled over. I'm just saying your 25 mph zone might be 25 due to lots of cars parked in the street, bus stops, deaf child in area, or other factors. Going 30 mph won't kill you.
HOWEVER, there are LOADS of places where the 25 mph limit means JUST THAT. Near schools, for example. On thin, one-lane, big city roads. (I don't know about you, but driving in cities with cars tightly parked to my right kinda psyches me out. No way I'm going to speed.) And, in shore towns. Especially in the summer. Tickets handed out during the summer no doubt provide the Jersey Shore with a 43.7%* increase in revenue for three months. (Along with tickets for public urination, public nudity, fighting, leaving kids in cars in the heat and meter-feeding. Read the police blotters in the Asbury Park Press in the summer if you're ever bored. They're treasures.) I once got pulled over in Asbury Park around 10 pm at night going around 40 in a 25, trying to find the beach. (I followed a sign with a big arrow that said BEACH. Now, I think that sign was totally planted by the cops to lead me to a speed trap.) I totally claimed that as my excuse and got off with a warning. I was lucky. DON'T BE LIKE ME.
Also? Don't speed on the Parkway and Turnpike. I know, I know, when there's no gridlock, it's SO TEMPING. But the ticket (and potential points!) are not worth it. And on these roads, you're not getting pulled over by local police. It's State Troopers. And believe me, New Jersey is not like Super Troopers. Hang out in the right lane, stay within the limit, and enjoy the ride. (And, if you're on the Turnpike, take exit 13A for IKEA.)
(*Totally accurate. Unless it's not.)
Tip Two: If You Can't Parallel Park, Don't
I can't parallel park. Wait. Correction. I can't parallel park in small spaces. In larger spaces, it's possible. (I just did it Thursday night in New Brunswick. BOOYAH.) But on the streets of Hoboken, for example? Forget about it. I find a(n overpriced) deck. Or make Joe do it for me. (That guy's a pro.) There's nothing worse than watching a huge car try to fit into a little tiny space on a busy road, backing in, pulling out, ad nauseum. It's especially horrible when you can't pass they because they've backed in at such a wide angle. Go to a parking deck. Or get a smaller car. Or, just get out of my way.
Tip Three: EZ-Pass vs. Change - Always Make It Exact
I don't have EZ-Pass. But I do carry exact change in my car at all times. As should everyone else driving on the Parkway.
If you don't have EZ-Pass, you have two payment options to get through the tolls on the Parkway. (Since you always have to go to a toll collector on the Turnpike, this tip doesn't apply when you're driving on that specific road.) You can either go through the "Cash Receipts" lane, or the "Exact Change" lane. Now, I always have spare dimes and quarters in my cupholder, perfect for zipping through the Exact Change lane. When you think of long lines at the toll stops causing backup on the Parkway, it's the Cash Receipts lanes you're thinking of. So bring change, and avoid it!
Also, you're SOL if the Cash Receipts lane isn't open and you only have bills; this is often the case at the tolls when you're exiting the Parkway. Take Exit 109 for example; this is the exit I take to go to Red Bank. It's a 3-4 lane toll, and usually two of them are for EZ-Pass and one is for Exact Change only. A lot of good your five dollar bill is going to do! So, carry change. Trust me.
(You could also get EZ-Pass, but whatever.)
Tip Four: The Four Way Stop. LEARN IT.
Okay, this is more of a universal driving rule, but HEY. EVERYONE AT THE FOUR-WAY STOP. You drive on according to how you arrived at the stop! Or, yield to the right! And, make a complete stop! A rolling stop just confuses everyone! (And, oh yeah, is ILLEGAL.)
There's a four-way stop near my gym and I almost got hit once by a guy who just got to the stop after I had let someone else go. We both slammed on our breaks, I looked at him right in the eye, wagged my finger at him and mouthed "NO." I have road rage. But I was right, dammit!
Tip Five: To Go Left, You Mus Go Right
In New Jersey, we love our jug handles. Apparently they are foreign concepts in a lot of places. So, if you're trying to make a left, but see a "NO TURNS" sign, make a right. Trust me. It'll be okay.
So there you go! Five handy tips for driving in New Jersey! And I think only one could be considered vaguely controversial.
