Warning: Spoilers below the fold.
I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous.
Ugh. Let's get this fact out of the way: this movie made me and Joe sick. We started the movie sitting up straight, and mid-way through ended up slouching down in our seats, leaning on the arm rests, holding our heads. We even had to get sodas to help down some ibuprofen and settle our heads and stomachs. The Blair Witch Project didn't make me sick, but way to go Micah. You're a stubborn douche, and you don't know how to effectively use your expensive camera, either.
Which is too bad, because I really, really, REALLY wanted to like this movie. I was so convinced I was going to be so scared, I refused to go alone. (Sorry Joe!) But my nausea overpowered any goodwill I had. And this movie should have been really scary. The demon preyed on Katie where/when she was most vulnerable: in the home, and while she was sleeping. When life is stressful, too much to handle, scary, whatever, at least everyone can turn to sleep; not Katie. And, the demon is following her. Home is where the heart is, but wherever Katie is, so is her demon. Therefore, she really has no home, which typically is everyone's sanctuary.
That's fucking scary, to me at least. But instead, due to the pacing and structure, it was just so. boring. Once things started happening in the daytime, I was like, "finally." The first hour and ten minutes were way too slow. I didn't need blood, guts or violence or anything, but I needed way more than sleep, scare, scream, repeat.
I couldn't focus on the "next-morning" scenes where, after every damn little event, Micah had to get Katie's thoughts on what happened. We know what Katie thinks! She's scared! She's been dealing with this shit since she was 8! And waving the camera around every which way just made it harder for me to focus on what I already knew Katie was going to explain.
I also couldn't stand Micah's dismissive attitude of Katie's wishes, whether it was about calling the demonologist (you already called the psychic, asshole, why would calling the demonologist be any different?) or bringing in a Ouija board. "Not in my house," he exclaimed once, which tells you everything you need to know about Micah. This isn't a leaky faucet, dude. You can't go to Home Depot and find the answer; your home isn't yours anymore.
I also laughed whenever he was like, "I'll do some research" as if reading a book comprised mostly of pictures would lead him to a simple, one-step solution. If there's one thing I learned from Drag Me To Hell, it's when you're dealing with a demon, you must seek professional help and do whatever they tell you without question.
Two things also really bugged me:
1) After Katie and Micah see the footprints in the baby powder, they are understandably freaked out. However, they made no comment on the fact that the footprints are only three-toed. That alone made the whole situation worse to me, but they didn't seem to mind or care.
2) When Katie and Micah leave the house with the Ouija board in the living room, the demon moves the planchette to spell out something. Then, the board CATCHES ON FIRE. That was crazy. However, after they kind the board, and Micah watches the tape, he's call, "The board was spelling out something," never once bringing up the fact the board WAS ON FIRE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO!?
I'm pretty upset at how much this movie let me down. The tension that was built up at night was wasted in the day time scenes with unnecessary recaps, Micah's hyper-masculine douchiness, and overall annoying camera work. But, for non/amateur actors, Katie and Micah weren't too bad. Katie can definitely scream, which was nice.
Seeing this movie with a loud, impressionable crowd would probably be the way to go.That probably wouldn't alleviate the motion sickness though. Probably should have made it a group rental.
